10 May, 2008

Did you know...


Did you know that you don't always have to pay your annual credit card fee?


For the second time, I asked HSBC to reverse the annual fee they charged me, and they had no problem with it. It's simple, really. I just had to send them an email and tell them that if they will credit the annual fee back to my account, I'd be a good boy throughout the year and clean my room at least once a week. 

Now what to buy with the PHP 1,200 I just saved...

... a brand new entry-level phone here in Bangkok?
... an A|X shirt on sale?
... a Philips portable DVD player at Tesco?
... over two hours phone call to the Philippines,?
... 240 sticks of pork barbecue?


El mundo es un panuelo

Long time, huh?


I went to Hard Rock Cafe Bangkok today, primarily because Jean, a fellow Zamboangeno who just recently arrived in Same-Same Land, told me that another fellow Zamboangeno- who is the son of my former college instructor in Ateneo- is in the band playing the keyboard.

When I got there, I found out it wasn't just him- it was the majority of the band! And they were freaking awesome. When the female vocalist went on stage, I thought that I recognized her. When she saw me in the audience and did a double-take herself, I knew she was this former schoolmate of mine from high school, Sharon. She recognized me as well and waved. "There's a Zamboangeno in the house! A Claretian!" she called out and pointed in my direction. Everyone turned to me and Jean. What the hell is a Zamboangeno, or a Claretian, the Thais must have thought. Na, kanatun.

The male lead vocal on the other hand was a true-blue rocker from WMSU. Really brought down the house. When he found out that me and Jean were from Zamboanga, he began injecting some Chavacano in his songs. "De Baliwasan yo..." he chanted in the middle of a rock song. Hehe.

When the bar closed all of us lingered and chatted and shared some good ol' Chavacano laughs. 
It really is a small world.


___________________
* The band is playing throughout May. Catch them. 

23 April, 2008

Cookie Monster Soliloquy

COOKIE MONSTER
SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME
REALLY MONSTER?

BY ANDY F. BRYAN

- - - -

Me know. Me have problem.

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.

Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.

Me no eat cookies.

Me destroy cookies.

Me crush cookies.

Me mutilate cookies.

Me make it so no one get cookies.

Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.

21 April, 2008

Summer 08 in BKK

Ruth and Jefrey came over for a vacation and we sure had a blast. The jam-packed nine-day holiday ended all too soon; I hope I get to see more of my friends as often as I want. Come to think of it, who else but really good friends would spend for a quick break and hop on a plane to Bangkok just to see me? I’m sure it wasn’t the elephant show, the magnificent temples, the Songkran festival, the really cheap clothes, the river cruise, the beach or the exotic cuisine that drove them here. Right, guys? Guys?

Saturday morning at 1AM I practically dashed to the airport to fetch Ruth and Jeff. I was very excited to see them again and wanted to make them feel very welcome so when the passengers started pouring out from the arrivals section, I hailed this over my head for them to see and find me:



Several people were looking in my direction and reading the poster with curious expressions on their faces, probably thinking whether we were members of a cult or something. The answer is yes.

In a nutshell, and because I’m too lazy to document everything in detail, here’s what we squeezed into our short holiday:

- toured a number of temples

- talked and joked and made fun of people - including ourselves

- cruised the Chao Phraya river and had dinner at the top deck of a floating resto

- devoured a lot of Thai food and prayed we won’t get hemorrhoids (or in Jeni’s words: cauliflower anus)

- got caked on the face and splashed with water in Khao San during the Songkran festival

- enjoyed world-class jazz and acoustic music at the cozy Brown Sugar

- fed the pigeons at the park and got “peck marks” all over our arms

- walked around Patpong, Bangkok’s red light district, and got hundreds of offers to watch the naughty “Pingpong shows” (the expression on Ruth’s face was priceless)

- tried Lebanese cuisine and decided the lamb made us very sleepy

- fed an elephant prancing about in Sukhumvit road

- braved the heat and shopped for bargains in the famous Chatuchak market. Twice.

- went to Jim Thompson’s house museum and listened to conspiracy theories about his disappearance (my favorite was that he stepped on a vortex and got teleported to the year 2433, where he was trampled by a giant troll by the name of Juno– my own theory)

- saw the entire Bangkok skyline from the tallest building in Thailand

- watched a boring crocodile show (no man-eating happened- we were shortchanged!)

- watched some elephants in Samphran do some amazing acrobatics, soccer and even role-playing 

- watched a magic show where the magician’s assistant, a ladyboy, showed complete nonchalance and boredom it was too hilarious

- had coffee and found a freaking little roach inside my cup (I didn’t find out about it until I had my last sip, whereupon I choked and gagged… and died…)

- introduced Ruth and Jeff to my favorite ice cream flavor – Rum Raisin

- went to the beach in Pattaya and saw nice waters but no beautiful ladies

- had fresh Japanese food in an authentic Jap resto where we asked the waitresses to take our picture but got a quizzical look on their faces instead, like they’ve never heard of such a ridiculous idea before



Read Ruth’s blog about our escapade here. Will post pictures soon!

10 April, 2008

I am Lucky

Donna, my friend and former officemate from KPMG Manila, was in town last week on a business trip. I couldn’t let pass the opportunity to see her… and ask her to bring my favorite Lucky Me pancit canton all the way from the Philippines.



I don’t know what ingredients they put in the seasoning but Lucky Me is just so damn tasty. I couldn’t compare it to any of the noodles that’s I’ve tried here in Bangkok, honestly. My favorite variant is the one with chili-mansi flavor. Chili plus kalamansi (musk lime) equals heavenly bliss. And kidney stones.

Thank you, baby Jesus and San Lorenzo Ruiz, for Lucky Me pancit canton.

03 April, 2008

The 10,000th

Who are you?

Who is this 10,000th visitor of my blog?

He or she has visited the site before, and guess how he or she arrives at my blog: through a google search result of a picture of Jasmine Trias. Visitor is truly a fan, but why must it be papara-pa-pam Jasmine Trias?


It's a photo I took while I chanced upon her in a mall show in SM Makati way back. Can you see the little otter hiding inside her hair?

10,000th visitor is from San Jose, California (or at least the ISP's server is located there), and he or she uses Firefox and runs Windows Vista on his or her PC.  It's a big screen he or she is using too, like 1680 x 1050 big. His or her last visit was on Apr 2, 2008 at 6:18:35 pm.

You can't run. You can't hide. Reveal yourself! (Thunder! Flashes of lightning!)

And if you give me your postal address (through the Contact menu, not through Comment so that I'll receive it in my email) you might find a surprise in your mailbox one of these days.